Hard to stand

When I asked God-
"What do I do when it is hard for me to stand?"
God said -
"My Child, just stay on your knees, and I will lift you up."
- Ephesians 6:18

Oh wow...how very appropriate this one was for me today. It has been quite awhile since last I posted something on my blog. But felt so very led to get back to it today. And I say this because, this past week has been one trying week. So as I looked at the Childlike Expression for today, I just had to sit here and smile, cause as I said, how very appropriate this one is.
I am feeling right now, that it is "hard to stand", and not knowing how to proceed on. This past week my life has been (I feel) almost shattered with some life changing news. Praises and prayer requests all rolled into one. I finally got a call from the lawyer after two years that my disability court date has been set. Hallelujah! Been a long two and almost two and a half years. So happy that it is finally on the burner. Same day...get a call that my sister has been diagnosed with breast cancer! Devastating! For those who know me, I lost my Mama in 2001, to the same disease. Talk about a mind blower. Along with this, checked on a dear sweet friend who had been in the hospital for about a week and a half. Family member I spoke with gave me such encouraging news, that I was elated. The day was truly like I had been on a rollercoaster, an emotional one for sure. Cried myself to sleep for my sister, gave thanks and praise for the appointment, and thanked the Lord for giving my friend a good day! Just a little over 24 hrs. later, things changed. I went to see my friend in the hospital, cause I was preparing to go out of town over the weekend and wanted to see her and share in her improving health situation. Upon arriving at the hospital, was met by a family member who informed me that her status had changed and she was now on the Hospice Unit! (her room had been changed that same day). Needless to say, I was in total shock. I was taken back to see her. I spent several minutes alone with her in her room. I was suddenly faced with the fact, that I was probably here to say good-bye! Bending down close to her, I rubbed her forehead and touched her cheek. She looked up at me and said my name. Of course, me being the blubbering kind, was already in tears. She just looked at me and gave me that special grin of hers. I drew up close so we could talk. I told her I loved her and how very special she was to me. She then said to me, "Thank You." And I replied, "for what?" "For being my friend," she said. With the tears really flowing now, I said, "Oh, Candy, I wouldn't have had it any other way." "I love you!" She was so very weak, but she found the strengh to ask me a question that will stay with me forever. She said, "Yana, will you pray for me?" Grasping her hand in mine, I said, "Yes, I will pray for you. Is there anything specific you want me to pray for?" She closed her eyes for a few seconds, and then opened them and looked straight into mine and said, "I want to meet Jesus!" I thought my heart would come right out of my chest as I said to her, "I know you do Candy, you are tired, and I know you are ready." "But please know, I am gonna miss you!" Right at that moment another lady from our church entered the room and I told her that she was there and that together we would pray for her. And we did just that. Before leaving the room, I once again was holding her hand and stroking her cheek, telling her how much I loved her. I leaned over and kissed her on her forehead and said, "I'll see ya later, okay?" She grinned and nodded at me, one last time. I left the room very distraught and spoke with the family member for several minutes before leaving to go home. I was then informed that the doctors didn't expect her to make it through the weekend. The next day, my friend got to meet Jesus! Hallelujah! As for me, my heart is heavy. These last few days have been almost like a blur. Trying to process it all. Memories flood my mind of our times together. The memory that is standing out the most right now, is the one of that last "favor" she asked of me. I feel so very humbled that the Lord chose me, to be the one she needed at that time in her life. And honored too, that she knew she could ask that of me. My tears have yet to cease, but will over time. My memories of her, NEVER!
So when I say that this expression was so appropriate, once again, I am in awe of the Father and how He knows just exactly what we need. He knows how much I needed to remember that and to replay it all in my mind and find HIM in it all. And oh, yes! HE has been there right in the middle of it all. So for now, that is exactly what I intend to do, stay on my knees and let HIM lift me up.
As another friend told me just today, "you've got a lot on your plate right now, and I am praying for you." You know, she is so right. But too, we both know that our Lord is still in control and get me through these trying times, HE WILL! Right now, I am having some trouble standing, so I think I am going to just snuggle up a little closer to the Father, and find my comfort there, right in His arms!